Just got off the phone with my good friend Lori where we had one of our "round and round the mulberry bush" conversations. One of us will bring up a topic of a biblical principle, parenting, godly womanhood, marriage etc. and we'll talk until we've come away more confused than ever. I cannot tell you how many times we said, "what does that look like?" We were on the subject of boys/girls, dating, courtship, flirting, giving your heart away. We weren't even on the subject of sex. Eeewww. Anyway, we didn't come up with any answers to our questions BUT we do share a heart to want what is God's best for our children, agree that prayer is the answer and that the more conversation the better.
I got off the phone and began a dialog w/ my 13 year old about the subject and we got talking about boundaries. She reminded me of their youth camp verse: The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6 What a great verse...isn't that what we want for our kids? For our marriages? For ourselves?
I also found many great websites:
- 5 Lessons on Courtship @ www.goodmorals.org/farris.htm
- Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood @ www.cbmw.org
- Courtship principles @ billgothard.com/bill/teaching/courtship
I feel better now. I know I have a few years (or maybe days with the rate my kids seem to grow) but I want to do this right. I didn't have a good example of relationships, I didn't have boundaries set for me, and I was a teenage dater! I cannot tell you how many times I "gave my heart away"...didn't serve me well into adulthood.
My job is to live in the boundary lines God has set for me and pray, pray, pray!
3 comments:
You are right; prayer will be the main thing that keeps your children's hearts pure. It is so good that you are keeping the communication open and are willing to share with your kids that you made wrong choices and want them to avoid the hurt... I am looking forward to building up the calluses on my knees for Grace! =)
Thanks for the websites. I printed off the first article. It is great! It spoke about delaying romance until one is ready to think of marriage. Whenever the subject comes up, I say "the reason you date is to find a mate"! It is so true if we really think about it and want to live under God's authority! If our teens want to date just for fun or experience or without marriage in the back of their minds, then they will end up with hurts or disappointments or emotional attachments that should not be. I sure hope to pass this on to my kids and that they will see the wisdom in it.
my husband & i are youth pastor's & its so important that you are talking to your kids about dating & giving their heart away. its sad but they are doing it (dating) younger & younger now. we tell the students in our youth group not to date because you are just giving your heart to someone that you are not going to marry & will end up getting hurt. there is a powerful statics that says 99% of the guys/girls you date in HS you will not marry. so why date? dating needs to wait until college when you know who you are & what you want in your future mate.
good luck in your adventures of the teenager years!
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